If you consider yourself to be a professional musician, you should make a rider. For those of you who haven't heard of a rider, essentially it's a list of things you want the promoter or venue to provide you with (other than money) at a show/concert you're performing at. But more importantly, a rider is a very useful tool that allows you to exercise your inner douche.
You may have heard of one of the more famous requests in rockstar rider history: the legendary "no brown M&Ms" from Van Halen's rider. It's actually interesting to note this one because up front this seems like the ego of a shitty hair metal band gone horribly wrong, but this request actually has meaning to it. I read somewhere that the band put this in there to make sure the promoters actually paid attention to and read their 50+ page rider. If they didn't read it, and the band came to find a bowl full of those blasphemous BROWN FUCKING M&Ms in their backstage room, it's likely they skipped out on some important details in the rest of their rider regarding lighting, staging, and security. We wouldn't want Van Halen's live performance to be compromised all because of these little brown devils, would we? OH NOES!
I've always thought about what I would put on my rider, but honestly I can't think of anything good. If I actually made one I would probably end up putting things like pizza and Mr. Pibb on there... and some comics. Oh, and a Dreamcast with Crazy Taxi! Yeah, now we're talking! But you gotta put some completely random nonsense in there. That's essential, just for shits and giggles. Like a magician who only speaks in pig latin or some shit..
This should be the last page (for at least a little while) that takes place in the practice space. Thank god, because I'm tired of looking at the same four walls over and over again. The next page actually takes place at the band's next show. Where are they playing you ask? (Oh, you didn't ask?) Well, come back next week to see!
Thanks for reading!
- Josh
My first time reading your work – very funny! I also like the information at the end. I finaaly learned why the no brown m&m thing was around – which now that you explained it, I understand why they would do it. Let’s see if I was going to make a rider – I would tell them I need a 42″ TV or greater with a VHS player and the most original version of Star Wars they could put their hands on – that may stump them for a bit. Well thank you for the funny before bed and I will come back and inspect your archives in the morning:)
Thanks! That sounds like a good rider. Of course, George Lucas would probably come barging into your backstage room demanding you stop watching immediately! Then he crams the Star Wars Blu-Ray down your throat..
HAHAHAAHA so true chanting “Eewoks must blink, Han did not shoot first, Eewoks must blink” over and over
So getting Mr. Pibb on my rider. And a Dreamcast, but with Soul Calibur instead of Crazy Taxi. Great work Josh.
Soul Calibur was great too! Actually, Dreamcast had a ton of great games. Very underrated system.